When I'm on set during filming I almost never have money for food and have to rely on Chris buying me lunch or dinner and sometimes both (which I'm very thankful for) many times, cast members have bought me snacks and brought me food from their house to make sure I eat well on set not only do I have to eat regularly because of the diabetes but I've noticed that I get hangry if I don't eat on set. (hangry is a combination of hungry and angry) I bring sugar free snacks when ever possible but that's not always easy to do with little to no money . I recently gave up all forms of pasta completely in an effort to get my A1C (blood sugar) under control so the starving artist deal has become even more of an issue in my day to day life .
Before I go any further with this blog I want people to understand that this isn't me complaining about being a starving artist this is about me explaining to all of you what happens behind the scenes here at Wicked Carnival Productions .
Now the little rewards of being a starving artist are hard to see from the outside looking in but I want explain what I think are the rewards of starving myself for my art. I really enjoy film making and all that going into it, all the fun, all the late nights, early days, long drives, all the meal breaks when the cast becomes friends over the course of a shoot, all the last minute changes that happen on set when we pull something out of our ass to save a scene or create something that wasn't ever in the script to begin with in an effort to make the movie better (we did this with Sins of Man II : Vengeance) These are things that make the personal sacrifice of not buying great food options worth it in the end, sure I could spend $100's of dollars on vegetarian foods and be healthier but them my movie career would've never started .
I'm working on getting the health back in order and getting in better shape because there is no point in the sacrifice if you have nothing to show for it, right ? My movies are my legacy that IO will leave on the world along with my three amazing children and I want them to have a library of dad's movies to watch after I'm long gone so they can always see their dad .
My hope is that someday if I keep making these sacrifices and I continue to make quality films that the money will eventually take care of itself and I will no longer be a starving artist, makes sense right ?
Another way you can look at it is this is a situation of Risk VS Reward, the risk of me eating cheaper food to be able to put more of my own money into my movies is worth the reward of being able to release my movies . If the risks outweigh the rewards then I wouldn't take the risk . I try not to take alot of chances when it comes to my health but risks are a part of what I do with Wicked Carnival Productions and I know that and understand that these risks are all calculated and will hopefully work out in the end .
STAY HUMBLE, STAY HUNGRY MY FRIENDS :)